I was on a retreat recently and someone said, “Fear is a lack of self love.” No blanket statement can really hold well under scrutiny, but it gave me food for thought. I wasn’t able to love myself as a man, because I’m not one. In Second Life, I’m able to love myself as a woman because I can fully express as one. Can I love myself as a trans-woman though?
Many spiritual people will tell you that liminal* moments are sacred moments. One of the reasons we have ritual (weddings, funerals, graduations) is to mark these moments as sacred. Well ~ we (Trans folk) are liminal PEOPLE. We are SACRED beings (I mean everyone’s sacred – but I’m making a point here.) “All is impermanence”, the Buddha said, which is another way of saying everything is fluid – even gender.
The sacred is often not comforting. Serenity does not mean feeling better. Giving birth is a bloody and painful thing. Yet I am convinced that in the Holy is love. Can I love my holiness knowing how much it challenges, outrages, and terrifies others? It seems to be the next challenge on my spiritual journey…
*liminal: of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition.